Zexy the Unicorn
by AceTrainer9642
Summary: Zexion as Charlie the Unicorn. #3 coming soon!
1. Chapter 1

Zexy the Unicorn

Based on ByaRukiFan's

Byakuya the Unicorn series

Starring Zexion, Axel, and Demyx.  
In Castle Oblivion Basements……  
Zexion is laying down reading that book he manages to hide in his cloak without looking like he's either pregnant or a hunchback. Where does he put it anyway?  
When Axel and Demyx walk in.  
Demyx: Hey, Zexy. Zexy, get up.  
Axel: Yeah, Zexy. You silly bookworm, get up.  
Zexion: Oh god, you guys. (Zexy is still laying down) This had better be pretty freakin important. Is the Castle on fire?  
Demyx: No, Zexy. We found a map to Candy Mountain. Candy Mountain, Zexy!  
Axel: Yeah, Zexy. We're going to Candy Mountain. Come with us Zexy!  
Demyx: Yeah, Zexy. It'll be an adventure. We're going on an adventure, Zexy!  
Zexion: Yeah, Candy Mountain, right. I'm just gonna, you know, get back to my book now.  
Demyx: NOOOOOOO!!!!  
Demyx starts bouncing on Zexion.  
Demyx: You have to come with us to Candy Mountain, Zexy!  
Axel: Yeah, Zexy. Candy Mountain. It's a land of sweets and joy…..and joyness.  
Zexion: Please stop bouncing on me.  
Demyx is still bouncing.  
Demyx: Candy Mountain, Zexy!  
Axel: Yeah! Candy Mountain!  
Zexion: Alright, fine, I'll go with you to Candy Mountain.

In those old woods in Twilight Town………  
Axel and Demyx have been singing through the entire journey so far. And Zexion is hating every minute of it.  
Zexion: Gah, enough with the singing already.  
Demyx: Our first stop is over there, Charlie.  
Marluxia in his Spectre form is standing in front of them.  
Zexion: Oh God, what is that?  
Demyx: It's a Liopleurodon, Zexy.  
Axel: A magical Liopleurodon.  
Demyx: It's gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain.  
Zexion: Okay, you guys do know there's no actual Candy Mountain, right?  
Demyx: Shun the nonbeliever.  
Axel: Shuuuun.  
Demyx: Shhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnah.  
Zexion: Yeah.  
Marluxia: .  
Demyx: It has spoken!  
Axel: It has told us the waaaaaaaaay.  
Zexion: It didn't say anything!

On a bridge in Hollow Bastion………  
The team has almost made it to Candy Mountain. After passing the magical Liopleurodon in Twilight Town, they made it to Hollow Bastion.  
Demyx: It's just over this bridge, Zexy.  
Axel: This magical bridge of hope and wonder.  
Zexion: Is anyone else getting, like, covered in splinters? Seriously you guys, we shouldn't be on this thing.  
Demyx: Zexyyyy. Zexyyyyyyyyy. Zexyyyyyyyyyy. Ze-  
Zexion: I'm right here! What do you want?  
Demyx: We're on a bridge, Zexy!!

At the Pride Lands………  
The trio has made it to the Pride Lands, yet somehow not turned into animals. Pride Rock has turned into candy. A sign over Rafiki's cave says Candy Mountain.  
Axel: We're here!  
Zexion: Well, what do you know. There actually is a Candy Mountain.  
Demyx's body starts spazzing in the air.  
Demyx: Candy Mountain, Candy Mountain, fill me with sweet sugary goodness.  
Axel: Go inside the Candy Mountain Cave, Zexy.  
Demyx: Yeah Zexy, go inside the cave. Magical wonders that will behold when you enter.  
Zexion: Yeah, uh, thanks but no thanks. I'm gonna stay out here.  
Axel: But you have to go inside the Candy Mountain Cave, Zexy.  
The word CANDY pops off of the sign and the letters turn into Xigbar and Xaldin.  
Xaldin: "Oh, when you're down and looking for some cheering up,  
Then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain cave.  
When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land,  
Such a happy and joyful and perky merry land.  
They got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things,  
And so many things that will brighten up your day.  
It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town,  
It's the mecca of love, the candy cave. They got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats,  
Candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets.  
Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band,  
Candy bells, it's a treat as they march across the land.  
Cherry ribbons stream across the sky into the ground,  
Turn around, it astounds, it's the dancing candy tree.  
In the candy cave imagination runs so free,  
So now, Zexy, please will you go into the cave?"  
Xaldin and Xigbar burst into flames.  
Zexion: Alright, fine, I'll go into the freakin candy cave. This had better be good.  
Zexion goes inside. Axel and Demyx laugh creepily.  
Demyx: Goodbye, Zexy.  
Axel: Yeah, goodbye, Zexy.  
Zexion: Goodbye? What?  
Axel and Demyx move a boulder in front of the cave.  
Zexion: Hey, what's going on here?  
Footsteps are heard.  
Zexion: Who is that? Wha-?  
Zexion is knocked out.

Back at Castle Oblivion………  
Zexion wakes up with a large cut on his side.  
Zexion: Oh God, what happened? OH THEY TOOK MY FREAKIN KIDNEY!

THE END


	2. Chapter 2

ZEXY THE UNICORN 2!

**IT'S BAAAAAAAACK!! Featuring special guest star……Master Xehanort! Hooray for Birth By Sleep!**

Zexion is back in the Castle Oblivion basement making his book come to life, when Axel and Demyx dressed in scuba gear float in above him.  
Demyx: Glub glub.  
Axel: Glub glub.  
Demyx: Glub glub.  
Axel: (scuba tank noises)  
Demyx: Look over there! It's a coral reef!  
Zexy: Oh look, it's you guys. And you're floating.  
Demyx: Zexy, we're scuba diving, Zexy.  
Axel: We're exploring the depths of the ocean bluuuue!  
Demyx: OH NO! Here comes a school of poisonous fugu fish!  
Axel: NOOOOOO! FUGU!!!!  
Zexy: Ah, you gotta watch out for those. So….go away, I'm watching BV. (book-o-vision)  
A blue hole appears on the book, and Zexion drops it immediately.  
Demyx: The vortex is open!  
Zexy: Oh God. Okay, what is this?  
Axel: Zexy! We're being pulled into the vortex! Swim away, fugu fish, swim awaaaaay!  
Zexy: Come on now, you guys are freaking me out! Turn this thing off!  
Demyx: There's no stopping the vortex, Zexy!  
Axel: Fuuuguuuuuuuuuuuu!  
The vortex disappears, with Demyx and Axel in it. The book closes.  
Zexy: Guys? Guuuys? Or girls. I know Axel is a guy, but Demyx I'm not so sure about.  
The vortex reopens on top of Zexion's head, with Demyx's upper half sticking out.  
Demyx: Zexy! Zexy, I have the amulet!  
Zexy: What amulet? What's going on?!  
Demyx: The amulet Zexy! The magical amulet! Sparkle sparkles!  
Axel's head appears out of a second vortex on Zexy's crotch.  
Axel: Sp, sparkles!  
He disappears again.  
Zexy: I don't understand what you're talking about!  
Demyx: The amuleeeeet! Nyeh, nyeh nyeh! Nyeh nyeh!  
The vortex closes, and Demyx disappears, before reappearing with Axel. Their scuba outfits are gone, but Demyx has the amulet on.  
Demyx: We did it!  
Axel: We got the amulet!  
Zexy: Great. Now go away! I'm tired of the horrible things that happen when you're around!  
Demyx: No, Zexy!  
Axel: NO!  
They both inflate with babbling "no!"  
Demyx: We have to take the amulet to the Banana King!  
Zexy: Oh yes, the Banana King, of course. Absolutely not!  
Axel: He's counting on us, Charlie! Nyeh!  
Axel begins floating.  
Demyx: If we don't give the amulet to the Banana King, the vortex will open and let out a thousand years of darkness!  
Axel: NO! DARKNESS!  
Axel is still floating. The vortexes on Zexy's head and crotch open again, tentacles are seen, and screeching is heard.  
Zexy: AAH! Alright, fine! I'll go, I'll go!  
Demyx and Axel: YAY!  
Axel: Darkness!

The Old Woods again.  
Demyx and Axel: (repeatedly making tongue noises)  
Zexy: What are you two doing?  
Demyx and Axel: (more noises)  
Zexy: Stop that.  
Demyx: …………(makes one more noise)  
Zexy: Oh look at that.  
A large Z is shown.  
Demyx and Axel: Z!!!!!!  
Demyx: (translated from Spanish) The man with the hat sent us!  
Axel: (also translated) He told us many amazing stories!  
Z: (pinging)  
Demyx and Axel: Oh ho ho ho ho ho!  
Zexy: What?  
Demyx: (Spanish) Tonight we dine on turtles!  
Axel: (Spanish) They look good, dhey, Z!  
Z fires a laser at Zexion.  
Zexy: Ahh! What did you two do?  
Demyx and Axel: Z!!!  
Demyx: (Spanish) I'm happy!  
Z: (pinging sounds again)  
Demyx and Axel: Oh ho ho ho ho ho!  
Zexy: Just keep walking, Zexion. Keep walking……

The trio find a giant shoe, with Luxord sitting up front, as if he were driving it……  
Demyx: Hop on board the train, Zexy!  
Axel: It's gonna take us to the Banana King!  
Zexy: I don't see any train. All I see is a giant sneaker.  
Demyx: It's the Choo Choo Shoe, Zexy!  
Axel: The Choo Choo Shoe!  
Demyx: Hurry, Zexy, it's about to leave!  
Demyx and Axel get in the shoe.  
Demyx and Axel: Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga shoe shoe! Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga SHOE SHOOOOOOE!  
Zexy: Yeah, I forgot my boarding pass. I'll just walk.

Finally, the team arrives at the fort of the Banana King (It's really just a small stage on Destiny Island).  
Axel: We're here, Zexy!  
Demyx: The Temple of the Banana King!  
Zexy: Great. Let's leave the amulet and go home.  
Suddenly, Master Xehanort appears out of the ground. His clothes all have turned green, he has a spade-like tail, and he's wearing a Santa hat.  
Zexy: ……Who is that?  
Silence.  
Zexy: No, no, really, you guys see it right?  
More silence.  
Zexy: I gotta be honest, I'm getting creeped out here. Somebody say something!  
Master Xehanort suddenly starts to sing.

Master X: Zexy, you look quite down  
With your big sad eyes and your big fat frown  
The world doesn't have to be so graaaaaay!

Zexy, when your life's a mess  
When you're feeling blue  
Always in distress  
I know what can wash that sad awaaaaaaaaay

All you have to do is  
Put a banana in your ear (Zexy: A banana in my ear?)  
Put a ripe banana right into your favorite ear  
It's true, (Zexy: Says who?) so true,  
once it's in your gloom will disappear  
The sad in the world is hard to hear  
When in your ear a banana cheers  
So go and put a banana in your ear!

And dozens of small Vexens in yellow cloaks appear (**A/N: His hair is the peel! LOL!**) and start singing along with Master Xehanort.

Put a banana in your ear! (Zexy: I'd rather keep my ear clear!)  
You will never be happy if you live your life in fear!  
It's true, (Zexy: Says you.), so true,  
When it's in the skies are bright and clear!  
Oh every day of every year  
The sun shines bright on this big blue sphere!  
So go and put a banana in your…...  
The Mini-Vexnanas diappear.

Master Xehanort: EeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAAAAaaaaaear!

Master Xehanort bursts into flames and dives into the water.  
Zexy: Of course. He burst into flames.  
Demyx: Go forth, magical amulet! Return to the Banana King!  
The amulet flies above the stage, and begins to shine a light onto Zexy. Zexy begins floating towards it.  
Demyx: Zexy, YOU'RE the Banana King!  
Zexy: What? Hey, hey, hold on a minute!  
A Mini-Vexen appears on Zexy's back.  
Vexen: You're the Banana King, Zexy!  
Zexy: No, I'm not! That doesn't even make any sense!  
Demyx: All hail the Banana King!  
Zexy: I'm not the Banana King!  
Demyx: You ARE the Banana King!  
Zexy: No, NO! I,I…….  
More Mini-Vexens appear on Zexy. One is on his head doing the Peanut Butter Jelly Time dance, and another is riding on his boot, texting one on Zexy's hand.  
Vexens: Banana banana banana banana banana!  
Zexy: I AM the Banana King!  
A crown materializes on Zexy's head.  
Demyx and Axel: Yay!  
Vexens: You ARE the Banana King!  
Zexy: I'm the Banana King! Yeah!  
Zexy turns and notices that Demyx and Axel have vanished.  
Zexy: Hey, where'd you go? Guys? Hello? Get me down from here!  
The light disappears and Zexy and the amulet fall to the ground, and Zexy's crown vanishes.

In the woods……..AGAIN………  
Zexy: Hello? Hellooooooo? Guys, where are you?  
When Charlie gets to where Castle Oblivion would be, it's gone.  
Zexy: Aw, you gotta be…Great! They robbed me!  
The crotch vortex opens again.  
Demyx: Zexy!  
Zexy: Ahh! What, what do you want?  
(pause)  
Demyx: (tongue noise again)

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For now………………


End file.
